forskar på kjærleik

"What does having a family and children mean to you?"
"It means that there is some sense in life."

This finding is both paradoxical and mysterious: the family is simultaneously disintegrating and being put on a pedestal. If one can draw conclusions about beliefs from how people behave, seventh heaven and mental torment seem to be very close neighbours in our ideal image of a loving couple.
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What induces the sexes to tear at each other's throats and still keep their high hopes of finding true love and personal fulfilment with this partner, or the next, setting standards which are so high that disappointment is almost inevitable?
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It's as if love occupies its own different world separate from real life in the family and separate from the person whom it is supposed to help to greater happiness.
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In addition there is a phenomenon which one could term "the law of the inverse significance of faith and certainty. " Anyone who feels comfortable in everyday life with a loving companion forgets how important this belief is to him/herself. Attention always focuses on uncertainties, and only when these crop up and certainty is banished does it become painfully obvious what a role love plays in designing our individual lives, even if we try to deny this.
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Love is a search for oneself, a craving to really get in contact with me and you, sharing bodies, sharing thoughts, encountering one another with nothing held back, making confessions and being forgiven, understanding, confirming and supporting what was and what is, longing for a home and trust to counteract the doubts and anxieties modern life generates.

The normal chaos of love - Beck/Beck-Gernsheim
s. 173-174